In preparing for this sermon this week I ran across another version of today’s gospel reading. See if you recognize it:
If thy brother shall trespass against thee, first think to thyself fervently on the trespass until a fire of anger and righteousness is kindled in your heart, then go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: vent thee thy anger upon him, lay thee thy knuckles not too hard on his nose, if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained victory over thy brother, and caused him to concede. Then he or thee leave the corrupted church for a congregation that will never offend thee.
But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, tell two or three witnesses every word that it may be established with them what a jerk thy brother is. Thus they might also vent anger and distain upon your brother.
Then thou and thy group of witnesses may leave that corrupted church for a more perfect place.
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church yea even unto the corners of the earth that the grievous offense done unto thee might be known throughout the world.
But if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Sue the son of a gun and get him thrown into jail thus thou will be vindicated. Then thou and all who are thus offended may leave the corrupted place and go to a more perfect congregation. Thou hast won. Alleluia!
Given the words of Jesus to his disciples heard in the gospel lesson, and this one I just read, which do you think is the one that is most usually followed in the world, in the church, or in our lives?
Personal conflict is a reality. The only way to escape it is to live by yourself out in the wilderness but that doesn’t even work, psychologists tell us, because you end up going nuts arguing with yourself.
Conflict is inescapable in life, and the closer you live to another, the more intense that conflict can become – thus, the high divorce rate in our society and the habitual sundering of church congregations.
Along with marriage, and family, the church for the Christian is to be just as intimate. A relationship with Jesus as Lord and Savior makes us as brothers and sisters to one another, that’s according to a biblical understanding.
Thus we constantly hear Jesus’ concern for his body, the Church. He calls, he commands the church to “love on another as I have loved you.”(Jn 15:12-17).
In his prayer before his crucifixion, Jesus prayed that his followers would be sanctified in the truth; God’s word, to be sent out into the world as his witnesses. (Acts 1: 8)
Jesus prayed that: …they may be one as the Father is in me and I in the Father that they also may be in us that the world may believe that thou didst send me. (John 17: 17-21, 22-26.)
The Church, the body of Christ is to bear witness to the world that Jesus is Lord through its oneness to Jesus and love toward one another. The love and oneness of the church are to be the signs to the world that Jesus is Lord.
It is no wonder then that devil should work so hard to cause dissention in the church. No oneness – no love – no church – no witness – no converts.
Conflict is real and unavoidable in the church. How we deal with it will determine whether we are the church or something much less.
A Christian counselor named Larry Crabb stated in regard to Church conflict: “The difference between spiritual and unspiritual community is not whether conflict exists, but is rather in our attitude toward it and our approach to handling it. When conflict is seen as an opportunity to draw more fully on spiritual resources, we have the makings of spiritual community.” Conflict can either make or break the Church.
Jesus has given us some guidance here to build his church through conflict.
First, keep it personal: One must approach the perceived offense in humility and love. Did that person say or do something that was ungodly, unscriptural, unloving? Was it sin? It doesn’t have to be a personal affront though it may be. But if sinful behavior is recognized in the church it must be confronted.
If you have a problem with that person, you need to go to that person before you have the temptation to stir up resentment or anger. Allow just enough time to pray; ask Jesus to examine your motives and ask Him to be in the resolution of the conflict, then you go to them in love – go to them as Jesus would, with the goal of clarifying the matter and restoring the relationship between you, the person, and God.
Meet face to face. Look at one another. No e-mail. No phone call. No letter or note. Anything less than a face to face puts an obstacle between the people involved. You are a brother or sister concerned for your brother or sister in Christ.
Be humble, don’t convict or accuse. Don’t aim to hurt the other just to seek your healing. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. And remember: You could be wrong.
God gave us two ears, one mouth: Listen to one another more than you talk. Clarify the issue – seek to resolve the issue, not to win an argument.
Remember the relationships – Jesus is personally involved with both of you – he cares how it works out.
Secondly, if the personal encounter does not bring resolution, don’t leave it there. Get help.
Find one or two others who might help mediate the issue. This could be a counselor or a mutual friend, someone who cares for both of you and might be a bridge between you to clarify the issues or help in communication. Remember the goal is the resolution of the issue, to strengthen the relationships with the lord and with each other.
Finally, if that fails to bring resolution, go to the church. If someone refuses to forgive, if someone refuses to take responsibility for his or her actions and repent of a behavior that is hurting the individual and the unity of the church, it may be that the rector, the vestry or sometimes even the bishop may become involved to bring resolution in the form of Church discipline to deal with the sin. Because sin is like a cancer; left untreated it will spread and ultimately kill the whole body.
This is not an issue that is taken lightly; it is painful but must be done because there is an indissoluble connection between heaven and the church.
Jesus said whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever is loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven. This does not mean that our decisions and attitudes control the environment of heaven. On the contrary, it is just the opposite.
Every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we pray that: Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. The church is to reflect the heavenly reign of Christ on earth, not vice versa.
Heaven is the benchmark because Jesus tells us, he is just as present here, where two or three are gathered, as he is in heaven.
One day in the south Pacific, a navy ship captain saw smoke coming from a hut on an uncharted island.
Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, “I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been alone on this island for more than five years!”
The captain replied, “If you’re all alone on the island why do I see three huts?”
The survivor said, “Oh, well, I live in one and go to church in another.”
“What about the third hut?” asked the captain.
“That’s where I used to go to church.”
Conflict is inevitable in the church. But how will we handle it? Will we allow it to be a cause of dissention and division? Or will it be the occasion for the Lord to strengthen our relationships with him and with each other, and truly be his church?